Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting thephysical,emotional,social, financial, and intellectual developmentof achildfrom infancyto adulthood. Parenting refers to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship.
Bringing up of children is the main responsibility of the biological parents but may not be restricted to them alone as others may be an older sibling, grand parent, legal guardian, aunt, uncle, family friend or any other family member.
The Government and society may also have a role in bringing up of children. In many cases,orphanedor abandoned children receive parental care from non-parent blood relations. Others may beadopted, raised infoster care, or placed in anorphanage. For example in Uganda most abandoned children are taken care of by the Sanyu babies home who later find them foster parents in case no one comes to claim them.
Regardless of who is bringing up the child, parenting skills vary due to Social class,wealth, culture andincome and have a very strong impact on what methods of child bringing will be employed by parents.Cultural values play a major role in how a parent raises their child. However, parenting is always evolving; as times change, cultural practices and social norms and traditions change.
A family's social class plays a large role in the opportunities and resources that will be made available to a child. Working-class children often grow up at a disadvantage with the schooling, communities, and parental attention made available to them compared to middle-class or upper-class upbringings. Also, lower working-class families do not get the kind of networking that the middle and upper classes do through helpful family members, friends, and community individuals and groups as well as various professionals or experts.
Parenting takes a lot of skill and patience and is constant work and growth. Steinberg's 10 principles hold true for anyone who deals with children
The 10 Principles of Good Parenting
1. What you do matters."This is one of the most important principles," Steinberg tells Us. "What you do makes a difference. Your kids are watching you. Don't just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, 'What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?'"
2. You cannot be too loving."It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love," he writes. "What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love -- things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions."
3. Be involved in your child's life."Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically."
Being involveddoes notmean doing a child's homework -- or reading it over or correcting it. "Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not," Steinberg tells Us. "If you do the homework, you're not letting the teacher know what the child is learning."
4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child. Keep pace with your child's development. Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child's behavior.
"The same drive for independence that is making your three-year-old say 'no' all the time is what's motivating him to be toilet trained," writes Steinberg. "The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table."
For example: An eighth grader is easily distracted, irritable. His grades in school are suffering. He's argumentative. Should parents push him more, or should they be understanding so his self-esteem doesn't suffer?
"With a 13-year-old, the problem could be a number of things," Steinberg says. "He may be depressed. He could be getting too littlesleep. Is he staying up too late? It could be he simply needs some help in structuring time to allow time for studying. He may have a learning problem. Pushing him to do better is not the answer. The problem needs to be diagnosed by a professional."
5. Establish and set rules."If you don't manage your child's behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you aren't around. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to himself."
"But you can't micromanage your child," Steinberg tells. "Once they're in middle school, you need let the child do their own homework, make their own choices, and not intervene."
6. Foster your child's independence."Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, she's going to need both."
It is normal for children to push for autonomy, says Steinberg. "Many parents mistakenly equate their child's independence with rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else."
7. Be consistent."If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion or if you enforce them only intermittently, your child's misbehavior is your fault, not his. Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiables. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it."
Many parents have problems being consistent, Steinberg tells us. "When parents aren't consistent, children get confused. You have to force yourself to be more consistent."
8. Avoid harsh discipline.Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances. "Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children," he writes. "They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others."
"There is a lot of evidence that spanking causes aggression in children, which can lead to relationship problems with other kids," Steinberg tells us. "There are many other ways to discipline a child, including 'time out,' which work better and do not involve aggression."
9. Explain your rules and decisions."Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to," he writes. "Generally, parents over explain to young children and under explain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn't have the priorities, judgment or experience that you have."
An example: A 6-year-old is very active and very smart -- but blurts out answers in class, doesn't give other kids a chance, and talks too much in class. His teacher needs to address the child behavior problem. He needs to talk to the child about it, says Steinberg. "Parents might want to meet with the teacher and develop a joint strategy. That child needs to learn to give other children a chance to answer questions."
10. Treat your child with respect."The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully," Steinberg writes. "You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for herrelationshipswith others."
Parents forget to consider the child, to respect the child. You work on yourrelationshipswith other adults, your friendships, your marriage, dating. But what about your relationship with your child? If you have a good relationship, and you're really in tune with your child, that's what really matters. Then none of this will be an issue."